I Hope You Dance
by Friends Babe
Summary: The works Christmas Party. It's always a difficult night, especially when your husband cancels on you and you're heavily pregnant with your ex-lover's baby ...


_Yo yo! This was written for Christmas 2008, but I didn't finish it in time, so it actually ended up being first 'published' in February 09. I'm having a mass sort out today, and thought I'd pop this up on here as well. It's Adam/Jessica. Hope you enjoy!_

_Nina x_

**I Hope You Dance**

Jessica sighed as she squeezed her now expanding waistline into the only dress she currently owned that still fit. And that was simply due to the fact that a few years ago a friend had given her an old smock dress of theirs, telling her it would suit her far more than it had them. The dress, a simple plain black smock, Jessica was sure was meant to hang elegantly, floating across the wearer, rather than cling tellingly to the wearers now rather large stomach. Still, she'd teemed it with thick tights and a pair of silver pumps and hoped no one would notice she both looked and felt, like a slightly overgrown walrus. Taking a deep breath in she rubbed a hand absent mindedly over her stomach as she reached into her locker and pulled out the silver evening bag she was taking with her that night. The bag was only just in her hand when she felt the phone inside it begin to vibrate. Reaching inside to answer it she saw her husbands name flashing across the screen and immediately knew this phone call was not going to be the one she wanted to receive,

"Sean? Hi, are you outside?" well if he was going to cancel on her, she was dam well going to make him feel guilty for it.

"Jess, sweetheart. I'm sorry, I'm caught up in theatre. I won't be able to make it"

"Isn't there someone who could cover?"

"No one" he insisted, "There's nothing I can do. Anyway, it's just a silly Christmas party. And you shouldn't really be on your feet all night anyway Jess, not in your condition"

"It's a pregnancy Sean, not a broken leg" she bit back, determined that this time she was going to stand her ground, this time she wasn't going to let him walk all over her, she was going to be strong and to hell with the consequences, "And you promised, you promised me you could make this. You know how much it means to me"

"Look Jess, why don't you go home, have a bath and I'll pick up a takeaway on the way home. We'll have our own Christmas party"

Taking a deep breath she forced herself to steady her voice, "No Sean. The babysitters booked anyway. And I want to go. I'll see you at home later" Slamming her phone shut she bit her cheeks, forcing herself not to cry. In a fit of haste Jessica then clicked her phone off, determined that he was not going to call her later and convince her to come home. Just as she was thrusting the phone into the depths of her bag she heard Tess walk in behind her, coming up behind her as she asked,

"A few of us are getting a taxi over now, do you want to jump in?"

Jessica shook her head, smiling a smile that refused to meet her eyes, "No I'm OK"

"Jessica you have to come!" the older nurse insisted, Jess simply smiled at her, linking her arm through Tess'.

"I know, but I'm driving over. Fancy a lift?"

X

Two hours later and Jessica was beginning to regret her decision. A Christmas party really wasn't the ideal place for a pregnant woman whose husband had decided to spend his evening in an operating theatre rather than with her. Although she had to admit, even if Sean was here, chances were her evening wouldn't have been much improved. Everyone else around her had spent much of the past two hours getting steadily and steadily more tipsy, and as such the dance floor was no filled with thronging bodies and empty bottles while the table Jessica sat at was now empty, filled only by her upturned handbag and half empty water glass. Inhaling deeply she reached across for her bag, idly toying with the idea of ringing Sean, or at least turning her phone on and seeing if he'd called her.

"This seat taken?"

Jessica smiled as Tess pulled out the chair next to her, sliding her hand across and taking Jess' in her own, "Why don't you go and have a dance?"

"Looking like this? Who's going to want to dance with me?"

Adam watched the two woman laugh as he nursed his second beer of the evening. He silently cursed Tess as she bought a smile to Jess' face. He'd spent the best part of the last half an hour trying to work up the courage to walk over to her and … just hug her, sit with her, anything to try and make her smile. The one he knew could melt his heart. Instead he'd just stood there, taking the occasional sip of beer and having to content himself with just watching her from a distance. Idly he wondered where Sean was, why he wasn't here sweeping his wife onto the dance floor and treating her in the amazing way she deserved to be treated.

Suddenly he saw Tess stand up and head over to the bar. Fuelled by the alcohol, Adam seized his moment and walked over to her, noticing her smile leave as soon as she was left alone ago. The walk across the room seemed to take an eternity as he wondered how to open the conversation, he knew he'd hardly been the nicest person in the world recently, but this wasn't the moment for apologies, this was the moment for friendship, new beginnings, and all that.

"Care to dance?" the words just seemed to slip from him as he approached the table, standing behind her as he extended his hand, feeling the old familiar thrill when she placed her hand in his.

"Only if you're gentle with me"

He smiled as he helped her up, noticing for the first time how pregnant she actually was, "As a giant" he watched her giggle at his pathetic attempt as a joke, he kept a tight hold of her hand as he led her across the dance floor towards a quieter corner to the strains of Slade over the speakers. He was cautious of getting too close, he wanted this to be about friendship and if Jess thought he was coming on to her, well, then that would be it. And he needed her in his life, even if she couldn't be the central part of it. But Adam couldn't deny those first moments were awkward, all his usual charm and confidence deserting him until he felt Jess squeeze his hand as she took his other one in hers, meeting his eyes as she grinned widely at him, before beginning to sway gently to the music.

They continued to dance in their own, slightly less awkward way, both simply holding each others hands but refusing to get to close, instead simply swaying to the music, and moving their arms about, Adam being careful to avoid Jess' stomach, he'd accepted her pregnancy but that didn't mean he wanted a constant reminder. They danced through the next three songs, conscious to keep their movements friendly, the dance two friends would do. It was only when Whizzard suddenly stopped singing and the faint strains of Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas wafted through the air towards them that they realised they were either going to have to get a little closer, or sit down.

Jessica suddenly became acutely aware of Adam's hand in hers, of the way his eyes met hers as soon as every person around them suddenly stopped jumping around and fell into the arms of the person across from them. She knew she should sit down, her feet were beginning to ache and her and Adam did not need to revisit their past, not now. But she didn't want to be the one to end it, also, she was strangely excited about being close to him again, even if it was just through an innocent dance. And so, smiling shyly she took a step in towards him and wrapped her arms around his waist, feeling him do the same a few seconds later. She smiled, contented as she rested her head on his shoulder, feeling the muscles in his back relax as they began moving to the music, feeling the heat from each others bodies.

Adam couldn't resist resting his head on top of hers as they danced, inhaling the sweet scent of her shampoo. A scent he wasn't even aware he missed until he was reminded of it. Suddenly all the feelings he'd buried, everything he'd promised himself he wouldn't feel came rushing back as softly, gently, he brought his lips to the top of her head, planting a snowdrop like kiss on her downy hair. He felt her relax in his arms and knew, much as she would deny it, she felt the same way too.

X

Exhausted Jess stifled a yawn a she saw Adam smile across from her, "Jess, you just have to say you're bored and I'll go, there's no need to hint" Bringing her hand down from her mouth she grinned back at him apologetically.

"Sorry Adam, I'm just tired" she explained, feeling another yawn approaching as she remembered just why late nights and late pregnancies just didn't mix. "Don't take it personally"

He looked at her, even now, pregnant, tired and with the remnants of a streamer still clinging tightly to her hair, a reminder of earlier in the night, she could still take his breath away. But selfish he was not going to be tonight. Adam could tell she was exhausted, knew her feet were causing her a great degree of pain and that the only reason she had stayed this late was so as not to offend him by leaving. He reached over and grabbed her coat from the windowsill behind them, offering his hand to her as he stood up.

She looked at him quizzically, "Come on. I'll share a taxi back with you" he said, a statement more than a question as he look her hand and let them out into the cool, quiet air.

"Really Adam its fine. You don't need to …" she started to protest.

"I know I don't need to" he insisted, "I want to. Come on Jess" he smiled, acutely aware that he was still holding her hand, "A woman of your condition can't be wandering the streets of Holby at night"

She laughed at him then, causing his smile to slip a fraction as he gazed quizzically at her, "No Adam" she began, "I mean I don't need a taxi. I'm not drinking remember? My cars parked over there"

He couldn't help but laugh along with her as he noticed her little car parked next to the clubs back door. Watching her walk towards it he realised, he'd actually been quite looking forward to sharing a taxi home, maybe a small cup of coffee inside (decaf obviously) just being close to her again. Instead he was watching Jessica leave him behind again.

"Adam?" he heard her call, her car doors open, "Come on. I'll drive you home"

The drive soon turned into stepping inside for a drink. Jessica knew she was tempting fate, but she really was quite thirsty and her feet were aching, plus it was probably dangerous to drive home before she'd had a little rest. Settling herself into the familiar sofa, sinking into its familiar warmth she couldn't help but close her eyes a touch, only opening them when she felt Adam sit down beside her. She rolled her head to face him and couldn't help but smile when she saw him smiling back at her, two mugs clutched in his hands.

"I don't have any decaf and well … it's cold and you need something warm so it's warm orange squash I'm afraid"

Jessica grinned as she took the mug from his outstretched hand as she eased herself up. "Thank you" she whispered, the exhaustion of the day finally catching up with her as she took a small sip of the scalding liquid.

"So …" Adam began, clearing his throat as he started talking, "I didn't see Sean tonight, is he working?" he had wanted it to sound like an innocent question, the kind of question one friend would ask of another, the question that told Jessica he was happy being her friend, could accept her marriage, ask questions about it, without any agenda. Still, he couldn't look at her when he spoke, too afraid of the expression on her face when her throats flickered to her husband. The reply he got from her though, was certainly not the one her expected.

"Adam don't. Just … lets not talk about Sean"

More than happy to obey, he settled himself back into the silence that surrounded them both. Adam normally associated silence with emptiness, constricting him as it engulfed him. Here, with her, silence was just comfortable. It told him that he didn't need to talk to feel close to her.

X

It was almost 6am when Jessica finally woke up, only realising as her eyes opened and began adjusting to the darkness, that she had fallen asleep at all. Her brain was thick with fog as she attempted to remember where she was, and why she appeared to be upright when she should clearly have been in bed. It was only when she felt the added weight on her stomach that she glanced down and saw Adam, his face peaceful and trouble free, as he snored quietly, resting his head on her expanding stomach. Jessica couldn't help but smile as she absent mindedly ran her fingers through his hair, enjoying the way his entire body seemed to relax into hers at the gentlest touch of her fingers.

They continued like that as time seemed to stand still, the clock on the wall refusing to move as old lovers became reacquainted without even being aware of the intimacy between them. Jessica felt her body ache for him as he slowly turned his head, his eyes now open and her hand frozen, the tips of her fingers grazing his forehead, as his eyes met hers.

"Good morning" he whispered, his voice horse and heavy with emotion. Jessica didn't reply, her voice refusing to follow her brains commands as the feel of his skin against hers began to burn. She felt her neck arch downwards as she suddenly realised how much her heart wanted her to kiss him. She was inches away, his head moving upwards to meet hers when she felt a resounding kick in her stomach.

Adam seemed to freeze in place as the child's foot came into contact with the exact spot where his head still rested. Awestruck he shifted his head, focusing now on Jessica's abdomen as he whispered, "Was that …?"

Jessica smiled, "I think someone was feeling abandoned"

Adam met her eyes, all the tension of the previous minutes vanishing as their smiles began to mirror each others, their mouths creasing easily into laughter as his hand rested gently on her rounded stomach, waiting for more confirmation of a life within it.

The next few hours passed in what felt like seconds, as the sun rose, their bodies eased into comfort beside each other, all the while Adam's hand remained in its position, reacting only when it felt a movement from the child below it. Jessica knew she should go home, knew Sean would be waiting for her, possibly (but unlikely) worried that he hadn't heard from her. Instead something kept her rooted there, the comfort of familiar scents and sights as she rested her head on Adam's shoulder, her eyes fluttering shut as she felt him plant a feather light kiss on her head, his hand becoming entwined with hers, both resting on her abdomen. In a relationship where honesty was never a priority, it was the slightest whisper that let Jess know he was still awake, still there, and told her all she needed to know,

"Merry Christmas Jess"


End file.
